From this side of the fence

There is nothing worse than the 1st week of a breakup.
1st week of a breakup is like the 1st time 2 guys have sex;
Awkward,
Boring.
And we keep telling each other we're doing it right.
Its a lie.

1st week of a breakup,
You're on my mind more than you ever were.
So i clean every inch of my apartment.
Clean my way into forgetting,
But then i find things i couldn't when we were together.
Your shirt,
Your favourite CD,
Reasons that i liked you,

Until my room reeks of your influence.

See,
i keep wanting to invite you over,
But Love can't live here anymore.
She might bring her children,
Jealousy and Neglect.
Those two run around my crib always breaking shit,
And i can't ever seem to clean up fast enough.

They tend to ruin romantic moments with questions and lies,
And i can see their children when i look into their eyes,
Its you and I.
Not sure when we had them but now,
They live in the next room.
Always barging in talking about how they're having nightmares,
And can they sleep with us too?

Jealousy dreams about deceiving so that's what we do.
Live out each other's nightmares,
Until we're in a bed full of problems.
And solving's not an option,
Cz the solutions are few.
Neglect kicks me in bed, talking about i don't love her like new.
And Jealousy...
I know how to take hold of that,

But both of them still look so much like you.

And i thought i'd be cool.
But i still see you on corners and in stores,
And in windows i'm passing.
And conversations and phrases,
And menus and laughing in traffic.

And song after song that they play back,
I know some of them are laid-back,
But the phrases they've written are sending me way back,
I can't take my day back,
Any type of song!

Yet yours would be on my tongue.

Its called apology but i would NOT drop the keys,
This is not for me,
This is how its got to be.

They say it takes twice as long to forget,
As it was to get to know.
So i'm sitting in my room talking about 6 days down
And 6 more years to go.

This is for all the women in the room
Who think that men don't burn
That when it comes to heart-break,
It is never our turn.

It don't matter who or what is to blame.
Cz in the 1st week after a breakup,
ALONE
Always feels the same.

-Rafael Casal-
 

 

These past few days, its like i no longer have time to breathe. And guess what? Its awesome that way. :)


17TH MAY 2008

 Azuar officially rocks my non-existent balls for giving all of us free tickets to the Groove Republic thingy. I shall buy him deep fried vegetables as a reward. :D Yes, its been 4 years since my last gig. That's just how headbang-deprived i am! I have no life and therefore i should give in to Emo-ness and go kill myself. NOT.

Overall, the whole thing was ok. Saw Bunny, Chary, Dom and Natasha there too. I thought the bands were awesome(especially Lucille, The Times and Mayze) but somehow, it just didn't have that rock concert vibe. Maybe because the place was small. Or maybe it was the disgusting tekangs that practically TOOK OVER the ENTIRE building. Jeebus fuck, i mean why do these people have to spoil everything good? Why can't they just stay in their swamp and rot or something?

ANYWAYYYY, back to the concert.

Okay so the hall was full of tekangs, right? I had a good laugh at a few of the more-retarded-than-usual ones who wore weird eskimo hats and pink sunglasses. They suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started can-caning in front of us! Actually it looked like they were trying to kick each other in the balls but yea. Obviously stoned la. But the funniest was the one with checkered boxers that terangkat every time he lift up his arms! ROFL! That just made my day, man! He was prancing around like a monkey on crack!

Negativities aside, at least i got to cuci mata. :D There was this extremely cute guy who was the vocalist/guitarist of a band whose name eludes me. His bassist was very the sexay too but i like him better. :) Messy hair, freaky smile, corer-than-thou attitude and did i mention that the boy had gunsssssss? Major nose bleed! He had me the moment he pulled off this killer guitar riff while growling. Oh god, he iz sexay werewolf! Somebody has GOT to teach me how to growl like that! Forgive the bimbo moment but Hey, i wasn't the only one that thought he was orgasmic, okay? Pirate Woman and The Hoe agreed! But Hoe thought he was a tekang at first. BLASPHEMY I TELL YOU! *starts gasping like frog with asthma*

And the best part was, i got to mosh with him when The Times were performing. MUAHAHAHAHA! The sexay werewolf was doing this weird ngajat/silat thing and i kinda just jumped in next to him and this other dude. LOL it turned out to be a lot more fun then expected! Now i can't dance but who the hell cares when you're next to a cutie! I stayed in the pit for like 30 minutes, breathing in the tekang air and saturating my skin with tekang DNA. Yeeek! No, i didn't die but i think i killed off 85% of my remaining brain cells. Chary, Pirate woman and Hoe had fun laughing at my retardedness. Haih. After that went to Lok Lok for a high-caloried dinner. The 3 of us ate like pigs and played with the leftovers. We called our supposed million-dollar work of art 'Myself on a plate'.


18TH MAY 2008


FASHION SHOW AT THE SPRING!! Was a little behind schedule that morning, so i rushed to pick up Hoe and then we had breakfast at Madam Tang's. Then we went to Ray's saloon but it wasn't open yet. Very not the sexay. So we ended up going to this super far away kopitiam with Dex, Eric and Bunny for a drink. Another moment of bad timing: Amber called and told us to get our asses back to Ray's, JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT TO SIT DOWN. And to think we walked all the way there for nothing! Bleh.

It was fun watching the models get their hair done, by hardcore Ah Lians and Ah Bengs some more! The tauke of Ray's looked like Snoop Doggy Dogg! Wtf tahap dewa! Surprisingly everyone looked great, especially after the make up and shit. Hoe ended up having at least a hundred pins in her hair and she had this smoky eye thing going on. Bunny, George and James looked like they got punched in the eyes! Oh well, that's what you get for killing peacocks! (inside joke). I kept going up and down to buy make-up stuff from Watsons and the lady must have thought i was a seriously obsessed bitch who can't make up her mind! Lulz! Then Pirate Woman dengan teramat ngegehnya msged and said she was at The Spring already and Azuar chiah-ed her Starbucks!!! :OOOOOOOO No love for Wawa. EVER. xD

Went to the Spring at  12 pm and that was when the cibainess started. It was fuckin hot and just fuckin nerve wrecking! Everyone was damn scared. We were up against professionals, for god sakes! Even though i wasn't modelling, i could feel this huge adrenaline rush that left me gasping and irritable. I usually have my temper in check but i nearly lost my marbles countless times that day. Guess i'm pretty sensitive to vibes. Backstage was HELL. Half the time, i couldn't see and there was this chaotic scramble as i helped my models put on their stuff. Thank God everything turned out so well!