From this side of the fence

Call me an ungrateful little nose picker but there are many things in life i wish i had. To keep it simple stupid, i shall begin by wishing i had more MONEY so i can BUY.......








Ohmahfuckengad my inner Daron Malakian had a screaming orgasm when i saw this. Its an ESP LTD AX-400 and its just so unbelievably MONSTER that i would sell a fuckin kidney to have it!! Kudos to Ibanez! Now i'm no guitarist, so maybe i should just stick to my drums and shit. But hey, even guitar noobs know a 6-stringed work of art when they see one! I'm just so tired of those cliche' guitars with the last season Strat body style that everyone seems to have nowadays. And yes Gibsons are awesome but have you seen an Ibanez ESP model lately??

I don't know about you guys but i'm IN LOVE with the designs on the fingerboard. Oh and according to Guitar World its got EMG-81 active pickups which means you could shred away like a motherfucker  and every note would still be crystal clear! Somebody get me a scalpel right now!

Of course the alternatives to kidney selling would either be:

1) Marrying a dying millionaire.

Nevermind if he's liver-spotted, wrinkly and is confined to his high-tech bed. The guy's nearly dead! Even Viagra won't help him now! Ooooh i wonder does this do! *pulls off life support tube* WOOPS!

2) Seducing a guitar shop tauke.

Blehhhh desperate times call for desperate measures. The least i can do is probably find a cute one to boink. Be right back, i'm going to fetch my whip and cuffs and get my thong on! xD

Or maybe i should just seduce the werewolf.

LALALALALA.

For now i shall just pray. Pray for money to drop from the sky.

IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS SINCE THE FLAT ASS WEREWOLF TURNED LEGAL.

Thanks to my demented friends, my 18th birthday was a blast! Love you guys!!!

Now i can proudly say that i have:

1) Been to The Condom House. And got something from there too! xD

2) Tried raspberry-flavoured vodka. FYI i did NOT get wasted.

3) Had the wettest, most kick ass water fight ever!

4) Filled up a condom. With my own air/oxygen, mind you! Don't start having thoughts!

5) Stayed up the entire night talking crap.


What a way to turn 18, right?

Yeah so maybe i've got responsibilities now and i'm supposed to be all mature and serious about my life. But that can wait. Coz i have a feeling the fun just started. :)

On a random note, i finally realised that i'm hopelessly in love with someone. I shit you not, i iz whipped. And I don't mean this in a my typical infatuated sort of sense. I HAVE FOUND MY SOULMATE. Fuck the OTHER werewolf and all the other members of the male community! He is teh awesomeness, the god-sent answer to my prayers, the cheese to my macaroni, the Shakespeare re-incarnate i've been waiting for!

But you know what's so hilarious about all this?

We live in different parts of the world.

We've never met in real life.

And the fact that his name is BRANDON BOYD and he's the vocalist of a band called INCUBUS makes it even more fucked up!

Yes, this is my bimbotic groupie moment so SATAP! xD