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Oct. 30th, 2008

Happiness is only a hair flip away

Youtube is so full of gay shit and it makes gay  people like me so friggin happy!!








Gotta love South Park, man. :D


 

Jul. 23rd, 2008

Yo mamma so dumb she got hit by a parked car!

Russell Peters is like a gift from the heavens, sent to make racist betches like me laugh my boobs off.

So for those of you who don't like him, you are GAY.



GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!









No offense, to the REAL homosexuals who may be reading this :D

Jul. 21st, 2008

If i was a rich girl. Now don't get me started on the 'nanana's.

I just realized something. Its been ages since i last had my period. For the past few months there have been no mood swings, no cramps, no disgusting gushes of blood. Nadda, nothing, zilch.


Oh God, I think i'm starting to grow a penis.


ANYWAY....

If i fail my Mass Communications course and my plans for world domination are ultimately plagiarized by some other annoying pussylicker, i shall revert to other things to make my living. Because i love money. MONEY MONEY MONEY.

No, i'm not that desperate to stand outside shady bars and by the roadsides with my legs spread. I'll leave that to the professionals. :)

Instead, i was thinking of opening up my own tattoo parlour called Anamnesis. Its a Greek word which simply means 'a way of remembering'. Blame it on Kat Von D and the many re-runs of Miami Ink, but somehow i've always wanted to immortalize my works of art on something flesh and blood. I just feel that it makes them, well... come alive. LOL at the cheesiness but yeah.

So anyone interested in becoming my business partner? I do the designs and you tattoo them on people! :D


But if that doesn't work out either, then you'll find me in some russian Rave spinning records on the turntable! VODKA PRATY VIP (inside joke)! Now before you guys start accusing me of joining forces with the techno-loving Ah Bengs, let me justify myself by stating that i like TRANCE/HOUSE music. There's a difference, okay? The shit they listen to is just plain annoying.

K this is showing off time! Check out this short trance track i made with Sony's ACID Xpress. :D


Ahhhh i even actually came up with my stage name! You may now refer to me as Dj Djembe. xD The whole thing's pretty basic coz with trance stuff its looping parts to play over and over and over again until a part of your brain dies from the pounding bassline. Sexii, i like. :D


Hibiscus Man, where art thou?

Jul. 18th, 2008

The Mindless ramblings of a nutcase.

Its been 5 days since Rainforest ended and i guess things have pretty much gone back to normal. I hate feeling so.. mundane.

Lol canggih juak england aku. xD

Well for one, i can no longer partay my flat ass off because now i'm supposed to be a Carmelite nun who thinks Grappa is the name of a fruity yogurt drink, and Mojo is the evil monkey in the Powerpuff Girls!




Shalom, rabbi. :D

Maybe its time to seriously get a Shit Folder. It seems to be working for Azuar the Wawa and Doreen! :D Then there's the fact that i'm hopelessly whipped. As whipped as cream, i tell you! Don't ask me how, when or why. I've been smiling like an idiot the past few days and my ass hurts from all the Unta dances i've been doing!

For those who might not know, the Unta or Camel dance is basically bending over with your ass in the air, while stomping around and simultaneously moving your arms which are positioned in a hook-like shape in front of you.

I shall demonstrate!

 


Yes, this is what i do when i'm insanely happy. The speed of the dance depends on my level of happiness. Haha! Now moving on to a less nauseating topic, I got this tag from Doreen! :D

Name 10 ppl to do this survey.


Number 1-10: People who have no life.


1 ) Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?

Yes but i sure as HELL won't bring him home to my demented parents yet!


2 ) Describe urself in one word

Idealist


3 ) Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?

The one i love. I'm more likely to spend an eternity getting hurt and sweating blood for that lucky bastard rather than some other fool who worships the ground i walk on. HIBISCUS MAN, I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS!! xD


4 ) Have you ever loved someone BEFORE but never had the courage to tell him/her?

Yea but that's gonna change. I iz woman from Amazon and i iz hunting that sexay beast down! Lol.


5 ) Does it feel good to love?~

Actually it feels like getting whacked in the head by a baseball bat. But what the heck, HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!


6 ) God is giving u just 5 more minutes to live, IF you love someone special what will you say to that person?

Hey there! Oh guess what, i'm dying in 5 minutes so it 'll be really really cool if you die with me? Saya hati kamu and I can't believe i thought you were a tekang!


7 ) What will you say to someone who doesn't want to believe you??

Graaaaaaaaaa. I hope you die, betch.
-

8 ) Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?

Yeah. I had this Jesus moment bah. Didn't exactly work out but you get credit for trying, right!


9 ) What's your opinion about someone who's jealous?

A little jealousy is adorable but too much is like, BEEP BEEP BEEP. Call 911. We have a serial killer on the loose.


10 ) What can you say about playboys/playgirls?

They're USUALLY good looking bastards and they know it! Like, dammmmnnnn. Its ego deflating time i tell you!


[[ * PART 2 * ]]
-

1 ) Best place to cry? -- Alone

2 ) Who do you love the most? -- Well naturally, the people who matter most. You guys know who you are. :)

3 ) Tell us ur dream las night? -- It was a pretty chaotic, but i remember one part involved me asking my mum where she hide my wallet, because i needed to borrow RM50 to the mermaid that lives in the longkang outside my house. Wtf??
-
4) Ever hated someone so bad? -- Hasn't everybody? But cannot like that. Later Jesus marah.

5 ) The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard? -- Me being called a lesbo back in high school. Fucktards, I am STRAIGHT and i like BIG DICKS! Hah so THERE!

**

[[ * LAST PERSON... * ]]


:: had a beer with? -- Err... random people on the beach.

:: went to the movies with? -- Friends

:: talked on the cell phone with? -- Sherry.

:: u hugged? -- Aaron the cacat caveboy

:: u yelled at? -- Aaron the cacat caveboy. Ahahaha!


[[ * IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU...* ]]

>> Kissed sumone? -- Nope.

>> Sing/sung/song? -- Yeah. Everytime i hit the showers i go into rockstar mode, babehhh. :D

>> Danced crazy? -- Oh yes. What, rainforest bah!


// Think of the las time u wer angry, why were u angry?

Err... honestly i don't remember. I don't get angry easily.


// You will die in 3 mins. Last call?

Hibiscus Man! LOL! This survey is so fuckin emo. Its the 2nd time i've been asked about dying within a time frame!


// If you could do anything OR wish anything, wad would it be?

I would... go bungee jumping right this very instant!


// Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?

 Me??? *gasps in horror* BLASPHEMY! I would NEVER do such a thing! xD


// Are you old fashioned?

No but i have an old fashioned phone! Haha! Its called VINTAGE, you fools!


// What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?

To tell someone i love them. The last time i tried, my retarded male crush thought i was joking when i was dead pan SERIOUS. Graaaa, crayon up the asshole moment i tell you.


// What things would be the hardest for you to give up on?
Drums, chocolate and beauty sleep. Its hard being sexay, you know? :P

-----------------------------------------------

Jul. 10th, 2008

JENG JENG JENG!

FINALLY. After one whole year of waiting, i can now give in to my rockstar tendencies. For those of you who may have been living under a rock, Rainforest is TOMORROW, betches!!

For most people this would probably mean:





Hardcore moshing







Booze





Hotties



For 3 days straight!

But of course, Chrislynn Siaw is too immaculately behaved for that.

Chrislynn Siaw is a nun!

And therefore Chrislynn Siaw will hide away in a corner with a glass of chinese tea in her hand, and scream in terror when a sexay dreadlocked beast looks in her direction.

Stop laughing, you fool. I meant every single word i said.

NOT! :D

Now don't get me wrong, Rainforest for me isn't just all about getting wasted and then some. Its the music that i can't get enough of and frankly, its become more of a tradition since i've been going almost every year for as long as i can remember! Yea it gets pretty expensive but trust me, its worth all your crisp bank notes with the Agong's ugly face on them. Besides, its the only awesome thing that happens in Kuching! Pathetic, i know, but thats how deprived we are.

On a random note, i hope the toilets are clean this year. It annoys me to the point of inexplicable madness when i happen go into one previously occupied by uncivallised neandarthals who can't aim properly. Like wtf, is your ass that big that it completely exceeds the potty hole range?? Yes, i know the interior of the cubicle sucks but redecorating every inch of it with your ass crap isn't gonna make it any better!

Bleh some people just dont respect the sacredness of the porcelain throne. Off with their heads!

I love the toilet. Apparently its my muse. I shit you not. xD That's why sometimes i bring in a pencil and a notebook in case i have an epiphany. And also because boring ba when you wait for the shit to come out! So might as well i do something productive, right? xD

Which reminds me! 2 days ago i had a moment of inspiration while i was shitting my sorrows away in the toilet. I suddenly had this Industrial-ish tune in my head which i just HAD to put some words to! So in the mean time, i practiced my Death Growl first and guess what? It sounded AWESOME! Holy crap! I was so proud of my retarded self that immediately showed off my new skill to Aaron! Then i went online and recorded my growl for Anne and my hoes. Haha! FYI i DID wash my hands, okai?

Please wait for the proof of my sexiness to load. Thank you.



Oh and did i mention that Aaron and Sherry attempted to growl too? xD



Ahhhhhhh i love our gayness! Wanted to get Doreen to growl too but her sister was sleeping. Wouldn't want her to get nightmares now would i? :D

LOL you know i just find it so amusing to realize that i started this post with Rainforest and ended it with my toilet activities! xDDDD

Ok i shall shut up now. :)

May. 10th, 2008

Why does it always rain on my parade?


Mammal and Papan left this morning at 9. And now, it all just feels... weird. Sort of hollow.

Guess i had an emo for breakfast..

Anywayz, was on youtube watching all the gay videos of us and the ones Anne and Papan made. I laughed my Oompa Loompa balls off! Ahhh good times. I'm gonna miss them.




















May. 5th, 2008

And while you were falling from your shooting star..

Expect no perverted but its-hilarious-and-you-know-it posts from me at the mo. I'm getting in touch with my jiwang side. :D

Jeebus fuck, i've got 2 assignments due next week and i'm still mucking around?? And to make matters worse i cant seem to put my new book down. I even read it while i was making a pie in the toilet bowl! LOL.

This has OFFICIALLY got to stop. Hence, i told my bro to hide it (the book, not the pot pie) somewhere so exasperatingly TOP SECRET that i'd never be able to find it. That was 20 minutes ago. And something tells me its in his underwear drawer. :)




Once there was a giving tree who loved a little boy.
And everyday the boy would come to play
Swinging from the branches, sleeping in the shade
Laughing all the summer’s hours away.
And so they love,
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

But soon the boy grew older and one day he came and said,
"Can you give me some money, tree, to buy something I’ve found?"
"I have no money," said the tree, "Just apples, twigs and leaves."
"But you can take my apples, boy, and sell them in the town."
And so he did and
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

But soon again the boy came back and he said to the tree,
"I’m now a man and I must have a house that’s all my home."
"I can’t give you a house" he said, "The forest is my house."
"But you may cut my branches off and build yourself a home"
And so he did.
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

And time went by and the boy came back with sadness in his eyes.
"My life has turned so cold," he says, "and I need sunny days."
"I’ve nothing but my trunk," the tree says, "But you can cut it down
And build yourself a boat and sail away."
And so he did and
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

And after years the boy came back, both of them were old.
"I really cannot help you if you ask for another gift."
"I’m nothing but an old stump now. I’m sorry but I’ve nothing more to give"
"I do not need very much now, just a quiet place to rest,"
The boy, he whispered, with a weary smile.
"Well", said the tree, "An old stump is still good for that."
"Come, boy", he said, "Sit down, sit down and rest a while."
And so he did and
Oh, the trees was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.





As usual, i found something totally unrelated to post up for fun. This poem is so very the Mother Nature, but i absolutely love the fact that its about giving your all even though it hurts. Not sure who wrote it tho. I randomly found it online while i was googling for the lyrics to Deadwood. And now, I iz inspired to stop using so much toilet paper!

Recycle, bebehhhhh. Tree-huggers FTW!

K this is the oompa loompa signing off to do assignments now. Turrah!


Apr. 21st, 2008

Wow... a sane entry!

 I dedicate this to Pippity the Pervy Gnome and people who know what its like to collide.

I hate it when you make me smile. :)



Feb. 17th, 2008

And i quote Paris Hilton: "That's hot.."




Crap is therapeutic. :)

Jan. 24th, 2008

MY VIDEO IS FINALLY DONE!!!



21st January 2008 was one of the best days in my life.

Unforgettable.

I'll let this video speak for itself.



I refuse to allow age or anything else erase this from my memory.. Thanks so much. I had fun.

Jan. 17th, 2008

HAHAHAHAHA!!

To all the other bloggers out there: YOU SUCK!! xDDDDD

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