From this side of the fence

I survived the ultimate mosh fest! The bands were psycho, the crowd was psycho.. Perfect combination! Its kinda hard to describe with words alone, but I'll upload pics of the gig as soon as i'm allowed to post them :D

Btw, something awesome is happening today. Once again, i shall leave u all in the dark until further notice. I'm such a bitch, i know.

UNRELATED RANT:

1) I may be naive, but i'm certainly not dumb. I see through your agendas and every move you make is more or less predictable by now. I know you're trying to get under my skin, mess up my equillibrium. Not sure why yet, but this must be some manipulative psycho-bitch thing. While i naturally choose not to give a fuck, don't push it. Seriously. Cz i dont forgive eassy and i don't forget either. i can be a manipulative psycho-bitch too.

2) I never thought i'd say this, not in a million years. But fuckin hell, i miss you. From the music, to pictures, the places, food, even random strangers; they all remind me of you. 5 mins ago, i typed out "Bored... Juh pondan-hunting!" on my phone, knowing that you'd call me gila and tell me go to bed instead. Then, i remembered I was out of credit. So much for the afterglow kan?

3) I wish you'd just understand me for once. I love it. Always have, always will and more than anything else in the world. I've never asked you for much. Every single piece of equipment i own, i bought with my own cash. Every single cent that goes to my jamming belongs to me. I earned it. So whether you like it or not, music is a huge part of me and attempting to snuff it out will only make me want it even more. I know you just want what's best. But who, what, where and how is irrelevant to me. Cz as long as i'm doing what i love, i'm happy.

I had a tune 2 days ago and right now i'm trying to put words to it. So far my mind's been a total blank and i mean BLANK. Not even a single horny or disturbing thought, like wtf!

Anyway back to the song in the making. After 15 mins of staring at the paper with a brain damaged expression on my face, i finally wrote:

Dear testosterone, leave me alone. Those hairs on my chin, are so not IN.

OMG i iz poetic GENIUS! :D

Seriously i think i'm getting lamer and dumberer by the second. Aaron called me twice and i didnt hear him. At all! I'll probably start hallucinating anytime now. The voices in my head are telling me to go to my balcony and scream "I LIKE BIG BUTSS AND I CANNOT LIE!!"



Must be the flu meds kicking in.

Moving on...

Maybe its karma getting back at my jual mahal-ness, but right now I want what i want. I admit it. I FUCKIN WANT WHAT I WANT!!! There, i said it out loud! To myself at least. Unfortunately, what i want is behaving like a menopausal bitch with a fork up the ass. Mood swings, hot flushes, the whole shitload. Ironic that its coming from a creature who isn't even biologically programmed to behave like that. Bleh. 

At least i have the Conquest for Death gig this Friday!! Ohmahfuckengad, i can't wait. I am so ready to get into the mosh pits and DESTROYYYYY! Then straight after that is the Halloween Party.

And guess what i'm dressing up as?



Ah well...

Oh and before i forget, Swinburne has this carnival thingy going on this Saturday so drop by and watch me rock out on stage! LOL suk kendirik! I'm such an attention whore, i know. :D And if you JUST happen to be reading this Nikki, i am NOT betraying LKW. Please don't take away my scholarship!

Yea that's it for now. Off to bed!

1. Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag 10 people to do this.


And so i was thinking, why put only ONE picture, when you can put MORE?






Easy, breezy, COVER GIRL! Kakakakakaka! xD And i tag anyone who reads this post!

Nothing much for now so i've decided to give in to my retard instincts WARNING. EXTREME GAY ACTIVITY UP AHEAD. IF YOU INSIST ON READING, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EXTRA UNDERWEAR TO CHANGE INTO :D.

Nowadays, its like a trend in some blogs (especially joint ones owned by people who happen to be in a relationship) to feature MILLIONS of pics of:

The  HOTTTTTTTT girlfriend/boyfriend.

Well you know what? You people can start stuffing crayons up your asses cz thats NOTHING compared to MY gerekSSS. Yes, plural is correct. Meaning i get it EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN NIGHT FROM TWO PERFECT CREATURES WHO ROCK MY WORLD. No sleep for me. Or my neighbours, for that matter. :D We make the Karma Sutra look like a children's nursery rhyme book!


MEET MY SAYANGS!

I believe we've developed a mutual understanding, haven't we boys?



*Yes and if any of you happen to resemble Johnny Depp, don't be afraid to drop us a line. We make exceptions :D*

I dont get it. I just dont. So could somebody please explain to me, why BOYS who look like

THEM

 

TODAY IS OFFICIALLY THE DAY OF GAYNESS.

Livejournal is a gay piece of technology. It wont let me change my font and shit, for some gay reason.

My car door now has a gay scratch. Cz i opened it too wide and it hit a gay wall.

I thought i saw Philip at Goh Say Lak, so naturally i smacked the guy's back and yelled "Hey!". Then he turns around and i realise its NOT Philip. GAY GAY GAY GAY.

Some Kuching drivers are just so gayyy that they and their gay cars should be banned from the roads.

The Jonas Brothers are gay. Nuff said.

But you know what's the GAYEST thing of all?

The fact that my gay retards left cz the gay hoildays are over.






GAYYYYYYY.

I just had a random thought..

We're supposed to protect wildlife on the verge of extinction, rite?

So what do you do, when an endangered animal eats an endangered plant?




Don't worry, my lameness scares the shit out of me too.


Ok moving on to sexay-er happenings in my sexay life. xD


I AM NOW RASTAFARIAN!







Ohmahfuckengad, my hair has FINALLY been un-emo-ed. Ya mannnn! I cant tell you in words how awesome that feels but i think you get the point la rite? Now, people will actually believe me when i say i like sunshine and unicorns!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *chokes on saliva*

I admit i was being a little impulsive when i got my dreads. Didn't exactly know how it was done, didn't give a monkey's dick either. So I happily sat through 5 hours of combing, parting, curling, pulling, twisting, tangling, knotting! My flat ass went numb and died, man! And guess what, now its even flatter. -________-

Then, went i got home Bimbo went into watchdog mode. Yes, my own dog couldn't recognize me. Mum gave me her Wtf-were-you-thinking-you-psycho-bitch look.

But shittttttttt it was damn worth the experience! I CAYANGGGG my new hair. It iz rockkkkk. I CAYANGGG Bunny. He iz rockkkkk. I CAYANGGG Gary. He iz rockkkkk. I CAYANGGG Sherry. She iz rockkkkk too.

ROCKKKKKKKKKKKK. On.



So far, the dreads are doing pretty good. Starting to untangle tho. Ahhhh well, thats normal cz i didn't burn them with hot wax. You see, the difference between mine and ones that the ang mohs have is the waxing part. Thats what makes your dreads forever and ever Amen. I chose not to do it cz i wasn't sure if i wanted to keep them THAT long.

And plus, we didnt have candles. :D

So yea mine's like the temporary kind. Meaning to say..

I CAN WASH MY HAIR.

AS MANY TIMES IN A DAY AS I LIKE!

IT DOES NOT STINK!!

Btw i can actually bukak the dreads without having to shave my head. I iz not wanting to have a Britney moment, okai?




Shiohhhhbee... Oi! Oi! Oi! Hahahahaha!

So how do people feel about my dreads?

Well most of them think its awesome. Yes i know. Sik perlu puji lebih2! Hahahahah! :D

BUT

Aaron said i looked like an old mop.

SOMEONE told me i looked like the PREDATOR from Alien vs Predator. And said i should've auditioned to be its stunt double or something! Cibai na.

My dad wants me to get rid of it. NOW.

But oh well, my hair, my life. Its staying until i get tired of it! I now leave you with my favourite hair-related vid from chris crocker.

The lights hit you as you walk to edge, digging your nails into your sweaty palms. This isn't the first time, probably wont be the last and yet, your throat feels like sandpaper. You grip the mic stand, look behind your shoulder. They reaffirm you silently. Around you the sea of strangers shift in their individual postions, hungry with anticipation. The adrenaline pulsing through your veins intensifies at the sound of that first chord. This is it. Too late to run back down the steps, to the safety of the dressing room. You squeeze your eyes shut but leave your mouth agape, hoping for a miracle, praying that you won't make a fool of yourself. Not now. Definitely NOT now. The crowd roars as he charges head on, doing what he does best. But you've numbed yourself out by then. All you can hear is the music and yourself, rasping and dismal. Then suddenly you find your ground. The crescendo quivers to a frenzied pitch and almost instantly, nothing matters anymore. Hair in your eyes, lungs screaming for air and body moving of its own accord, you give in to that primal instinct. It hits you hard. It hits you fast. Waves of headbanging melodies intermingled with growling contractions and earthly vocals, it just takes you over. An out-of-body experience almost. At that moment, you know. There's no denying it. The expressions of the masses below says it all. You just know.


Its funny, but its during awesome times like these with United Kids of Oi that i miss Offstage Minor even more.

Once upon a time, i never could imagine myself getting up on stage with any other band but my own. And here i am now. The irony of circumstance.

I miss our small time gigging days, when it didnt matter if we sucked. (Well actually it did but we don't care.)

I miss our lame pre-performance backstage ritual.

I miss bumming around my house, writing songs and rocking out to our own brand of music.

I miss laughing at the silliest, most random things.

But most of all... i miss the 3 motherfuckers i practically grew up with.


Life's like that, you know?

Charry is my lifesaver.

Thanks to the boy's weekly genius at Wings, i no longer have to resort to porn binge eating to keep Shamu occupied. NOTE TO SELF WHEN DEALING WITH INNER BEAST: If you indulge, you shall bulge.

But yes, yesterday's acoustic session totally rocked my boobs off. Bryan had his bass and I brought a part of my drumkit for a simple indie-styled setup. Ahhhhh Blisssssssss, i tell you. My music/noise addiction has been satisfied for the time being. Starting to feel a little queasy already and that's why my speakers are blasting Axe Murder Boys. No i am not anti-christ. I just happen to like death metal. Ignore the lyrics,  just pay attention to the riffs and you'll see what i mean.

And i just realised i STILL have Bojeng's telephony guitar cable in my bag!

K off to Skye now.

If you were wondering whether i died and went to Hell for my eternal damnation, the the answer is no. I AM STILL ALIVE.

Muahahahaha! :D

Sorry it took me like, 10 years to update. I sincerely apologize for not providing sick entertainment. The wait must have been boring, sitting there waiting for your pubic hair to grow longer. :D But i've been busy lately. Of course when i say 'busy' it usually means i've been up and about doing useless things!

Well for one college has started and i'm back to bumming around campus like i own the place. Since Azuar the Wawa moved to Swinburne and left as to DIE in the wilderness, he gave us a campus tour. :D Cuci mata i tell you with the foreign hotties! And then there's sexii time at Mojo with the people who make my day, jam sessions and... gigs. 

The only thing i HAVEN'T gotten around to doing would be.......

JOGGING

Yes, i shall admit this. I am a pig. I've been telling Sherry we have to wake up every morning and run around the neighbourhood like Olympic bitches before we go for class. And every said morning, my alarm clock rings, i switch it it off, kick away my blanket..


And go back to sleep.


I know right?

Ah well, i don't need to fuckin exercise. Afterall, i am Jessica Alba. :D

In an unrelated note, I'm ignoring my sewel. As mean as this sounds, psychos should not be encouraged. Trust me.

Btw Kermit is seriously getting to me. In a good way. :) So much for not giving in to his sexay doorstep ribbit-tings. I should really learn to bite my tongue and just orgasm inwardly. 

MEEP MEEP MEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

Hibiscus Man, on the other hand, is utterly STUPID. So fuckin STUPID that he makes Jessica Simpson look like she graduated from MENSA as a friggin rocket scientist! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Ignore me. Shamu is going through a major nervous breakdown/heartbreak. 

Now where's the damn chocolates???

SURPRISE SURPRISE, bitches! My sewel collection just got a little bigger. Now a bit of sewelness is kinda hot, mind you. Think Jim Carey in Bruce Almighty. :D But this new found sewel is... just plain GILA!






The ZOMFG-I'm-in-your-living-room-and-i'm-about-to-butcher-your-mother kind of GILA!

Okay so maybe i over-exaggerated a little but i'm not going to go into details. The guy is FREAKAY. Unfortunately not in the bedroom kind of way, bleh. But to be honest the world could do with a little less of men who are the proverbial freak in the sheets. Some of you would probably go NOOOOOOOOOOOO and then go look for the biggest brick to bash my head with! But hey, most of these guys are fucktards AND YOU KNOW IT. Said males think with their heads. And i don't mean the one with the brain. :)

WOOPS! We're getting out of topic. xD

But oh yes, i attract the psychotic serial killer types. Har dee har har. I have no idea why though. Its like i have this huge billboard on top of my head that says,

FREAKSHOWS ARE WELCOMED HERE!

Not my fault. Birds of a feather flock together. WTF, DID I JUST INSULT MYSELF?

Graaaa this is how messed up i am right now.

Stupid Hibiscus Man. Why can't you be THIS obsessed with me too??????

Doreen's at Seremban now. Which mean 1/3 of The Pies is on another plate at the moment. Its just not gonna be the same, you know? I just hate it when people go, especially when it means having to leave me behind to miss them like hell..

No matter! I shall SPAM her phone until it malfunctions! Ahhhhhh the wonders of having the same Celcom line. :D And if anyone dares bully Doreen i'm gonna fly all the way there and stick a fork up their asses!

Graaaa.


I now feel the sudden urge to talk about Hibiscus Man. Don't ask me why we call him that. And no, he does not look or act like a monkey's butt! In fact, said beast happens to be HOTTTTTTTTTT and he's the very reason i'm STILL doing that damn Unta Dance! I love everything about the bastard. His eyes, his voice, his sense of style, his hair. Ohhhhhhh yes definitely his HAIR. One minute its all bad-ass rockstar but when he bothers to comb it, he looks so artsy fartsy Harvard. LOL!

But since its been like 2 weeks, my level of WHIPPED-ness has gone down. So now i just have sewelitis and i don't miss/think of him THAT much. :D

But the only time i don't think about Hibiscus Man AT ALL is...

During church.

HAHAHAHAAHA @ THE IRONY!

But hey, i'm fuckin serious, okay! The minute the church bells start ringing all perverted thoughts of Hibiscus Man just evaporate! I have no idea why! Ooooo I think i'm finally connecting with my inner nun here.

So I shall find myself a sexay priest and elope with him to the mountains! xD

Oh btw, ants decided to build their nest in the box where i keep all my shit. It was fuckin disgusting man! A swarm of ants moving these little egg larvae things around, and their fat-ass queen giving me the look of death like, "OFF WITH HER HEAD!!" I was so grossed out that i took my dad's disinfectant thingy and sprayed the little buggers with it! Most of them kinda curled up and died. Then i made Aaron wash out my box. Ahhhh the power of The Older Sibling. Muahahahaha!

I mean WTF, its bad enough that the lizards won't leave me alone!

And speaking of said reptiles, i think they stalk me. Everytime i go into the toilet or bathroom, there will always be this HUGE lizard lurking about in the corners, waiting to ambush me! Its a sick conspiracy i tell you! They stare at me and then they TSK TSK TSK at me while i shit my sorrows away. Ohmahfuckengad creepy to the max. A lizard even fell on me once! Naturally i screamed like a motherfucker and ran out of the toilet. Bleh. 10 years off my life for sure.

I just don't get it. Seriously. Lizards, now ants.


DO I LOOK LIKE ELIZA THORNBERRY OR SOMETHING?!




Now don't get me wrong, i love animals. The sexay Werewolf and his underaged cub, for example. Just not the perverted toilet stalking types that fall on you. Or the ones that attempt to bling out your accessories with their eggs.

K. I shall go harrass Hibiscus Man now. Chaow!

I just realized something. Its been ages since i last had my period. For the past few months there have been no mood swings, no cramps, no disgusting gushes of blood. Nadda, nothing, zilch.


Oh God, I think i'm starting to grow a penis.


ANYWAY....

If i fail my Mass Communications course and my plans for world domination are ultimately plagiarized by some other annoying pussylicker, i shall revert to other things to make my living. Because i love money. MONEY MONEY MONEY.

No, i'm not that desperate to stand outside shady bars and by the roadsides with my legs spread. I'll leave that to the professionals. :)

Instead, i was thinking of opening up my own tattoo parlour called Anamnesis. Its a Greek word which simply means 'a way of remembering'. Blame it on Kat Von D and the many re-runs of Miami Ink, but somehow i've always wanted to immortalize my works of art on something flesh and blood. I just feel that it makes them, well... come alive. LOL at the cheesiness but yeah.

So anyone interested in becoming my business partner? I do the designs and you tattoo them on people! :D


But if that doesn't work out either, then you'll find me in some russian Rave spinning records on the turntable! VODKA PRATY VIP (inside joke)! Now before you guys start accusing me of joining forces with the techno-loving Ah Bengs, let me justify myself by stating that i like TRANCE/HOUSE music. There's a difference, okay? The shit they listen to is just plain annoying.

K this is showing off time! Check out this short trance track i made with Sony's ACID Xpress. :D


Ahhhh i even actually came up with my stage name! You may now refer to me as Dj Djembe. xD The whole thing's pretty basic coz with trance stuff its looping parts to play over and over and over again until a part of your brain dies from the pounding bassline. Sexii, i like. :D


Hibiscus Man, where art thou?

Its been 5 days since Rainforest ended and i guess things have pretty much gone back to normal. I hate feeling so.. mundane.

Lol canggih juak england aku. xD

Well for one, i can no longer partay my flat ass off because now i'm supposed to be a Carmelite nun who thinks Grappa is the name of a fruity yogurt drink, and Mojo is the evil monkey in the Powerpuff Girls!

Shalom, rabbi. :D

Maybe its time to seriously get a Shit Folder. It seems to be working for Azuar the Wawa and Doreen! :D Then there's the fact that i'm hopelessly whipped. As whipped as cream, i tell you! Don't ask me how, when or why. I've been smiling like an idiot the past few days and my ass hurts from all the Unta dances i've been doing!

For those who might not know, the Unta or Camel dance is basically bending over with your ass in the air, while stomping around and simultaneously moving your arms which are positioned in a hook-like shape in front of you.

I shall demonstrate!

 

Yes, this is what i do when i'm insanely happy. The speed of the dance depends on my level of happiness. Haha! Now moving on to a less nauseating topic, I got this tag from Doreen! :D

Name 10 ppl to do this survey.

Number 1-10: People who have no life.


1 ) Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?

Yes but i sure as HELL won't bring him home to my demented parents yet!


2 ) Describe urself in one word

Idealist


3 ) Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?

The one i love. I'm more likely to spend an eternity getting hurt and sweating blood for that lucky bastard rather than some other fool who worships the ground i walk on. HIBISCUS MAN, I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS!! xD


4 ) Have you ever loved someone BEFORE but never had the courage to tell him/her?

Yea but that's gonna change. I iz woman from Amazon and i iz hunting that sexay beast down! Lol.


5 ) Does it feel good to love?~

Actually it feels like getting whacked in the head by a baseball bat. But what the heck, HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!


6 ) God is giving u just 5 more minutes to live, IF you love someone special what will you say to that person?

Hey there! Oh guess what, i'm dying in 5 minutes so it 'll be really really cool if you die with me? Saya hati kamu and I can't believe i thought you were a tekang!


7 ) What will you say to someone who doesn't want to believe you??

Graaaaaaaaaa. I hope you die, betch.
-

8 ) Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?

Yeah. I had this Jesus moment bah. Didn't exactly work out but you get credit for trying, right!


9 ) What's your opinion about someone who's jealous?

A little jealousy is adorable but too much is like, BEEP BEEP BEEP. Call 911. We have a serial killer on the loose.


10 ) What can you say about playboys/playgirls?

They're USUALLY good looking bastards and they know it! Like, dammmmnnnn. Its ego deflating time i tell you!


[[ * PART 2 * ]]
-

1 ) Best place to cry? -- Alone

2 ) Who do you love the most? -- Well naturally, the people who matter most. You guys know who you are. :)

3 ) Tell us ur dream las night? -- It was a pretty chaotic, but i remember one part involved me asking my mum where she hide my wallet, because i needed to borrow RM50 to the mermaid that lives in the longkang outside my house. Wtf??
-
4) Ever hated someone so bad? -- Hasn't everybody? But cannot like that. Later Jesus marah.

5 ) The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard? -- Me being called a lesbo back in high school. Fucktards, I am STRAIGHT and i like BIG DICKS! Hah so THERE!

**

[[ * LAST PERSON... * ]]


:: had a beer with? -- Err... random people on the beach.

:: went to the movies with? -- Friends

:: talked on the cell phone with? -- Sherry.

:: u hugged? -- Aaron the cacat caveboy

:: u yelled at? -- Aaron the cacat caveboy. Ahahaha!


[[ * IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU...* ]]

>> Kissed sumone? -- Nope.

>> Sing/sung/song? -- Yeah. Everytime i hit the showers i go into rockstar mode, babehhh. :D

>> Danced crazy? -- Oh yes. What, rainforest bah!


// Think of the las time u wer angry, why were u angry?

Err... honestly i don't remember. I don't get angry easily.


// You will die in 3 mins. Last call?

Hibiscus Man! LOL! This survey is so fuckin emo. Its the 2nd time i've been asked about dying within a time frame!


// If you could do anything OR wish anything, wad would it be?

I would... go bungee jumping right this very instant!


// Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?

 Me??? *gasps in horror* BLASPHEMY! I would NEVER do such a thing! xD


// Are you old fashioned?

No but i have an old fashioned phone! Haha! Its called VINTAGE, you fools!


// What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?

To tell someone i love them. The last time i tried, my retarded male crush thought i was joking when i was dead pan SERIOUS. Graaaa, crayon up the asshole moment i tell you.


// What things would be the hardest for you to give up on?
Drums, chocolate and beauty sleep. Its hard being sexay, you know? :P

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Call me an ungrateful little nose picker but there are many things in life i wish i had. To keep it simple stupid, i shall begin by wishing i had more MONEY so i can BUY.......








Ohmahfuckengad my inner Daron Malakian had a screaming orgasm when i saw this. Its an ESP LTD AX-400 and its just so unbelievably MONSTER that i would sell a fuckin kidney to have it!! Kudos to Ibanez! Now i'm no guitarist, so maybe i should just stick to my drums and shit. But hey, even guitar noobs know a 6-stringed work of art when they see one! I'm just so tired of those cliche' guitars with the last season Strat body style that everyone seems to have nowadays. And yes Gibsons are awesome but have you seen an Ibanez ESP model lately??

I don't know about you guys but i'm IN LOVE with the designs on the fingerboard. Oh and according to Guitar World its got EMG-81 active pickups which means you could shred away like a motherfucker  and every note would still be crystal clear! Somebody get me a scalpel right now!

Of course the alternatives to kidney selling would either be:

1) Marrying a dying millionaire.

Nevermind if he's liver-spotted, wrinkly and is confined to his high-tech bed. The guy's nearly dead! Even Viagra won't help him now! Ooooh i wonder does this do! *pulls off life support tube* WOOPS!

2) Seducing a guitar shop tauke.

Blehhhh desperate times call for desperate measures. The least i can do is probably find a cute one to boink. Be right back, i'm going to fetch my whip and cuffs and get my thong on! xD

Or maybe i should just seduce the werewolf.

LALALALALA.

For now i shall just pray. Pray for money to drop from the sky.

Celaka, aku sik dapat nganok miak asing seorang tok sesuka hati, sebab ku dah padah ngan nya ku ada blog! Paloi, nak? Sik ku tauk kenak ku berik nya link juak. Disebabkan itu, aku mok klakar dalam bahasa sarawak kinek tok, okai? Mun aku nganok dalam inggeris takutnya nya paham ba.

ANYWAY...

Aku mula bermember ngan cinabeng tok akhir minggu lepas ka, mun sik salah ku? Masa ya ku bersexii time di Stickam ngan Anne, pompuan paling gai di dunia. xD Si sepet ya tek masok live Anne lalu mula berklakar ngan mek orang la. At first, aku rasa nya nang lawak gilak tapi lamak-kelamaan... start la nya tunjuk ciri-ciri kesewelan! Of course la aku takut, nak? Korang pikir normal sik mun laki random slalu mok berwebcam sik tentu pasal la, nulis IM pelik-pelik la, AND... merajuk mun kau klakar ngan orang lain? Baru 3 hari jak nya dah SEWEL kedak ya! Aku sik bulak, pok!

Nok paling menakutkan ialah hari tok bila nya tiba-tiba madah i love you lalu nunggah aku jadi gerek nya! Nya madah eventhough nya muda dari ku 2 tahun, nya masih boleh MEMBAHAGIAKAN ku! HAHAHAHA! Aduhhhhh, aku nang tetak sampei terkentut!! Sekda ku mok ber-baby love ngan miak cina nok baru berumor enam belas tahun! Especially nok berasal dari TAIWAN. ZOMFG. Ah Beng land!

Eh terlupak aku bagi korang nangga muka skibang nya.




Orang tua zaman dulok slalu madah pompuan kedak bunga nok cantik dan harum, nak? Sooo, bunga ya slalunya pandei guna madu untuk attract laki LEBAH, nak? Tapi ku sik paham la. Technically, aku bunga juak. And madu ku bukannya berbeza ngan nok lain. Perkara nok menghairankan ialah sekda pun species lebah hensem ka macho ka nok menghampiri! Laki nok datang bertengek depan aku... blehhh sik tauk giney mok madah la.  Dah la muka jaik, kedak beruk. Prangei pun kedak beruk juak!

Graaaa aku rasa diri ku tok bunga jenis Rafflesia la. Lalat jak nok slalu carik aku. Haih...

PESANAN DARI PENAJA: Berhati-hati mun korang berchatting kat Stickam, terutamanya first timer. Iboh layan gilak laki atau pompuan nok confirm kenja dan ada SEWELITIS ngan kau. Jaga, kelak nya embak parang lalu ngagak carik kau!

Kinek tok, aku dah tauk giney perasaan Anne. Mun kau baca post tok, YOU IZ THE VIRUZZ! xD Kau ingat sik Jordan nok guna screen name h8theblacksheep ya? Ohmahfuckengad aku sik kisah langsung mun nya mok bersewel ngan aku! ROFL.

Ya jak nok mok dimadah.

Weeeeeee!

For the past few days, I, the demented Chrislynn Siaw, have been doing nothing but retarded things with a bunch of equally demented people. BnB turned fried food session, self-disclosing games, karaoke and movies.  Ahhhhhh bliss. :D The unsexay part of the whole thing would be how much i've been eating lately. And the beer. Graaaaaaaa, currently feeling like a blubberous whale. Now the first thing i do every morning when i get up is say, "I AM JESSICA ALBA AND THEREFORE I WILL NOT GET FAT. LALALALALA."

Ignorance is bliss, i tell you! LALALALALA.

Unfortunately John went back to Miri yesterday, which means i now have to stalk and spam his friendster. :D Eric's going back today and Dex has his internship thingy next  week.  Which leaves me, Doreen and Sherry with threesome sexii time. Oh well! Sem break is on now and we've still got that whole list of stupid stuff to do! We iz tre coolness. xD Planning to hang out with The Walnuts too and stalk the supposed hottie who works at coffee bean. Coffee+cuci mata=YAY! I havent gotten round to getting my tattoo yet though. I got an awesome(in my opinion) piece which i want to get on the right side of my back, just below my shoulder. Shit, i'm so going to get into trouble but i made up my mind about it so hopefully, i'll have it by before Steff goes back to KL. Weeeee!


In an unrelated note..

Its crayon-up-the-upper-thigh-hole time again! My sewelitis are now chronic tahap dewa. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck. I have noooooo idea how the hell it happened, but i DO know that its just plain WRONGGGGG. Oh God, help me now.

Before i go on i would like to start today's post with a shoutout to Anne:

Woman, I did not STEAL the orgasmic Brandon Boyd because technically, HE IS MINE. ALWAYS WAS and ALWAYS WILL BE. MUAHAHAHA! So if you go near ma man i'm gonna fix yo face, bish! You ain't gonna see it coming, bish!

ROFL at my gay attempt to be all ghetto gangsta but you know i love you anywayz! :D

Graaaaa i'm having a major fat moment right now. Went to bed straight after stuffing my face with fried food. I need somebody to convince me that i STILL look like Jessica Alba!!

I shall now do a tag to get my mind of the weighing scale.

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.


B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Quiz:

1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
→ For starters, i'd be seriously crushed. But there's also a saying that goes, "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned." So if i were him, i'd wear protective armour on my NETHER REGIONS or come to the worse, just migrate to another country. :D

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
→ To have my own custom-made signature snare drum! Mine will be this kick-ass one with a black 14 x 6.5 inches metal shell, half skin heads, brass rims, black snares and crazy graphics all over the body. Omg awesome sensitivity combined with a monster bite, bebehh!

3.Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now?
→ Yes. It turned out so much better than i expected and the best part is, its only beginning. :D

4.If you found out you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
→ LOL i'd probably die of shock first! But in case i survive, I'd tell every single person i know and and love how much they mean to me and if possible, do everything i've always wanted to do with them one last time. Then i'll indulge myself with binge-eating, booze, sugar highs and other fun stuff. At least i die happy right? xD

5.What's your ideal lover like?
→ Ummm... someone who knows me so well that he understands even when i speak Swahilee! He doesn't have to be the offbeat indie rocker type, though that would be a HUGEEE plus! xD But basically, I just want a walking contradiction with a great sense of humour, a big heart, and an even bigger vocabulary so that we can insult each other. :)

6.Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
→ I think its both because you can never truly love someone unless you know what its like to be loved. And its the same contrariwise. You can't be loved until you have loved.

7. What is the one thing that pisses you off about the opposite sex?
→ How pig-headed they can be sometimes. Oh, or when they think its a compliment to tell you something you already know, but don't want to hear. For example, "you've got a nice rack.." Wtf tahap dewa.

8.How far will you go for the one you love the most?
→ Hmmm, thats kinda hard to describe. How exactly do you measure love with distance anyway?

9.Is there anything that makes you unhappy these days?
→ Nothing i can remember at the moment. But even if there was, my friends would make me feel better. :D

10.Family or friends?
→ BOTH. I can't live without either. I would be like french fries without salt and ketchup! Still tasty but hopelessly ordinary.

I tag:
Sherry
Dex
Jess
Julie
Deb
Anne
Esme
Jared

IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS SINCE THE FLAT ASS WEREWOLF TURNED LEGAL.

Thanks to my demented friends, my 18th birthday was a blast! Love you guys!!!

Now i can proudly say that i have:

1) Been to The Condom House. And got something from there too! xD

2) Tried raspberry-flavoured vodka. FYI i did NOT get wasted.

3) Had the wettest, most kick ass water fight ever!

4) Filled up a condom. With my own air/oxygen, mind you! Don't start having thoughts!

5) Stayed up the entire night talking crap.


What a way to turn 18, right?

Yeah so maybe i've got responsibilities now and i'm supposed to be all mature and serious about my life. But that can wait. Coz i have a feeling the fun just started. :)

On a random note, i finally realised that i'm hopelessly in love with someone. I shit you not, i iz whipped. And I don't mean this in a my typical infatuated sort of sense. I HAVE FOUND MY SOULMATE. Fuck the OTHER werewolf and all the other members of the male community! He is teh awesomeness, the god-sent answer to my prayers, the cheese to my macaroni, the Shakespeare re-incarnate i've been waiting for!

But you know what's so hilarious about all this?

We live in different parts of the world.

We've never met in real life.

And the fact that his name is BRANDON BOYD and he's the vocalist of a band called INCUBUS makes it even more fucked up!

Yes, this is my bimbotic groupie moment so SATAP! xD

Yes, there's a disgustingly mushy side of me that should never EVER be indulged, in case i start blathering like a senseless hippie.

Which is PRECISELY what i'm about to do. :)

There are many things that i believe in.

I believe that if you get on all fours and spin around on your bed 3 times, you create an invisible barrier that blocks nightmares.

I believe in miracles.

Most of all..

I believe that everyone deserves a shot at happiness, and with that same intense faith i believe that there is such a thing as love at first sight. You just have to look up at the right moment. And while i still think that marriage is irrelevant, 'forever' is so much more than a time frame. Its more like selling yourself to slavery or signing your life away to a loan shark and not giving a damn. When you should, because you know its a one way ticket to hell.

The only problem with forever is it seems to get shorter by the second.

Maybe this is what life does. It messes with your head and sucks out everything that matters. It chokes you. Slowly. And before you know it, you're so jaded that you can barely tell the difference between anything. Or worse, you die, surrounded by the family members who later grapple over your left-behind fortune. Loved, yet so alone. The irony.

But everyone deserves a shot at happiness. ;)

Currently reading The Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. Kudos to the Mad Hoe for supplying me with the literary works of that sexay dead man with the peanut-shaped head. xD